I spent two hours in my favorite store (Barnes and Noble) with my friend Mike yesterday evening. We discussed the various books we were and had been reading...laughed a little bit at the Battlestar Galactica and Philosophy and Batman and Philosophy duo that were inches away from books written by Nietzsche. Perhaps the most entertaining/brain exploding find of the day was this little number:
Save the...males? Really?! I apparently scoffed at this much louder than was appropriate and I'm not sure whether Mike got offended or was just trying to play devil's advocate. He began with some very fitting questions (he is quite aware of my feminist tendency), and eventually I had to admit...TO BE FAIR, yes...apparently there COULD be such a field as Men's Studies.
The book included various chapters on the male experience. The one that really caught my eye was one that pleaded for women to let go of their "trivial" daddy issues. Obviously this person has never had daddy issues and-
"Wait, What!?"
I was then blind sided by something else: A woman wrote this book.
Really!?
Me: "How objectively can you really write about the male experience if you are indeed not male, thus have never had said male experience?"
Mike: "Well, there are men who are in Women's Studies classes?"
(This is true...although I am inclined to say that any man who takes one of these classes is either gay or trying to appear sensitive in order to con a unsuspecting, daddy issue laden, angry, damaged girl into thinking that "all men are indeed not like their fathers and that maybe they should just sleep with this guy and give him a chance to change her mind and then maybe everything will be ok and...and...and" Ok to be clear, yes I am a feminist, but I do not hate men)
Me: "This is true, but are those people writing the text books for the classes in this major? That is like little blonde-haired-green-eyed-me writing a huge piece on how racism feels to the black American man! It just doesn't work like that! I could be the most intelligent person on this Earth and I still wouldn't even believe me! EMPATHY is not synonymous with EXPERIENCE."
With all due respect to the carriers of external equipment...while pregnancy is still considered an "illness" to insurance companies (and under lots of private plans goes uncovered) and birth control pills are often harder to obtain than Viagra, I don't think males are in need of saving...
But there is one thing I do know for sure; I'm clearly going to have to read this book now. GRR!
VIVA LA REVOLUCION!
4 comments:
I am a woman who recently completed The Genuine Men Project, a photo-documentary profiling thirty five men ranging in age from twelve through ninety two. The published companion book, Genuine Men Journeys in Stories and Stills is available to those who don't have an immediate opportunity to view the traveling exhibition. As a mother of two sons, I have no idea of what they will be going through during their lifetime simply because I am a woman. Through these thirty five men I was able to learn about the different challenges that they face throughout their lifetimes. I believe that these men are role models for us all because of the ways in which they met their life challenges and carried their experiences. This is the same when looking to define female role models. From my time with these men, I know that we all can learn from the stories of men.
I think human beings, in general, are fucked up. Men, women, we all have issues.
I agree, however, that this world is built to operate on the shoulders of men. Until women are no longer considered a "minority," until paternity leave is mandated, until decent healthcare/time off/ etc. is provided for every woman, than I have to side with Katie here and say that I'm not feeling too terribly sorry for men.
The government, the healthcare system, even employment statistics are geared towards men. Why? Women are seen as a liability. Businesses know that women can get pregnant, thus costing them thousands in healthcare coverage and maternity leave. Men, on the other hand, take two weeks off (if vacation allows) and are back to work once the baby is born.
Not only that, but even our public school system is geared towards boys. There are tiny, infinitesimal infrastructures that we're probably not even conscious of that bias our entire world towards men. White men in particular. Healthcare is the most obvious, but there are much smaller instances.
I'm not saying that men are bad creatures, and that there's not an entire field of study (i.e. the "Marlboro Man" [http://www.fordham.edu/campus_resources/public_affairs/inside_fordham/september_8_2008/in_focus_faculty_and/psychologist_deconst_30478.asp], among others) dedicated to the issues of men. All I'm saying is that a glorification of men is simply not necessary.
I'm also not saying we can't learn things from these men. But I am saying that the world would probably be a little bit better off if men were willing to learn a little something from us women too.
Case in point: look at Hillary Clinton. The media screwed her six ways to Sunday. She was a "ballbuster," a "bitch," a "nutcracker." She was seen as a sexless entity, simply because her femininity was subverted by the fact that men found her dominating and frightening.
Now, you tell me, how can the world ever be a peaceful place when women who fight for the top are classified as "sexless," or (worse) as someone attempting to emasculate others?
We have statues all over our towns and cities reminding us of the glory of "mankind." Literally- "mankind." What the hell kind of example does that set for our future daughters, that everything they know about modern democracy is based on "phallacies?"
Phew, on a roll there.
let me know how all that truns out, i sure you will have something to say.
Looking the through glasses as a man, I see things differantly. Women's rights have made huge advances in the last 40 years. Some compete with men's interests, others are independent of each other.
Boys have clearly suffered in the school system, due to a recent female oriented teaching system. Test scores are down as well as university enrollments, while girls have gone up.
Men's choice in abortion is negligable, and limited in child custody and support.
Hormone replacement for men is about 40 years behind women, as are options for birth control.
A man can easily be prescribed female hormones for a sex change, but he can't take male hormones if he's deficient, and it's illegal if he wants to be "more of a man."
There are still no viable birth control options for men other than condoms and vasectomy. A male birth control pill has still not been developed.
In order for women and minorities to move up the ladder, someone has to come down.
In my opinion, in some areas, the pendulum has swung too far. In other areas, women still have some catching up to do. It's not all black and white.
Post a Comment