"Excessive sorrow laughs. Excessive joy weeps."-William Blake
I do not think I am alone in my absolute disdain for the MVA. Lots of creative people have imagined wild scenarios of what hell on earth would indeed look like, and many times it seems an exact replica of a Department of Motor Vehicles. As pointed out in
Love's performance at the Starving Artist Showcase last Friday, I've had a bit of trouble with my car's registration of late. In fact, at this very moment, my car is NOT registered AT ALL. Throughout my recent epic battle to obtain this apparently terribly elusive and coveted document I have had the opportunity to do a lot of research on DMVs. Though said research is sadly still far from complete, at this point I can easily conclude that MVAs are not all created equal: The Maryland MVA alone is indeed the epitome of Hell on Earth.
Lets go back a few weeks.
Friday, October 3, 2008
I was with Boh on the Eastern Shore. We were photographing and exploring a decaying church on the side of the road near Oxford. As we approached my car after the shoot, Boh turned to me. "Um sweetie," he said, "are you planning on doing something about your registration anytime soon?" Dumbfounded, my eyes shot to where he was pointing. Sure enough, on my Georgia license plate, I had a sticker for "APR. 08." I had been driving on expired tags since APRIL. APRIL! SIX MONTHS.
So I've been a bit distracted. Back in April I was working 4 jobs trying to save up money to move my entire life to Miami Fl. to start really working at the failing relationship with exboyfriend...only to have him tell me not to come after months of busting my butt to get there...and then there was the nasty break-up followed by months of near stalkage on his part...then the scrambling of dropping some jobs and picking up some more to pay bills...and then the reconnecting with someone amazing after something like 12 years and spending every possible moment with him since the end of September. Yeah, my mind has been elsewhere.
I was planning on getting a Maryland license at some point, but was delaying because I have heard horror stories about how expensive it is to do so. But all of this time, I never received anything from the state of Georgia saying I needed to renew my tags, and so it never crossed my worried mind. I lease my car, the leasing company never picked up on it. I pay Geico every month. Apparently they don't care that they are insuring an unregistered vehicle. I park in between my mom and stepdad's cars and they never noticed it. I've been driving for 6 months and no police officer, mall security person, or passerby got wind of it. I am not trying to pawn off responsibility (it is by far the stupidest thing I have done in quite a while), but I still cannot believe this BIG thing slipped through so many people's fingers.
I couldn't sleep that whole night. I was absolutely sick about it. Much to Boh's dismay, I woke up every 20 minutes; I agonized over how much it was going to cost to register in Maryland (you pay sales tax on your vehicle...giddyup!) and if I could afford it, how I was going to have to drive an hour home to Annapolis on expired tags (nevermind that I'd been doing it for 6 months!), how I was going to tell my mom that I'd been so dumb...
What I really should have been agonizing over was HOW LONG IT WAS GOING TO FREAKING TAKE.
Fast forward:
Saturday, October 4, 2008
I called the MVA first thing in the morning.
"We don't deal with tags and registration at all on the weekends ma'am."
I had planned on being able to take care of it without having to tell my mom. I've never screwed up like this before, and I guess I thought she was going to yell at me and tell me I was a terrible, irresponsible human being. But this really isn't my mom. She and my stepdad kind of laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation and my stepdad told me to just drive his car until I got it taken care of. I bet they wouldn't have laughed had they known how it was really going to end up. How is it going to end up?
Monday, October 6, 2008
9:01 am I called the MVA to see what I would need to bring in the get my registration renewed THAT DAY. A machine told me that my wait time was "approximately 1 minute." It was "approximately" close to 30 minutes later when I finally spoke to someone.
I was informed that I would need to do about 5 or 6 different things because my car was leased and from out of the wonderful state of Maryland before I would be considered for registration. These things included going to the MVA to pick up a "VR-056 letter" that would have to be mailed to my leasing company requesting a title to my car and a power of attorney to be sent to the Maryland MVA, a certificate stating my vehicle had passed the Maryland state inspection, a Maryland drivers license, and Maryland automobile insurance. It became increasingly clear that this process was going to take more than one day...
I went to the MVA, stood in the titling and registration line FOREVER and was finally greeted by a "friendly" MVA employee who filled out the VR-056 letter with me. I FAXED it from Bare Escentuals 20 minutes later. Forget mail. Mail takes too long. I didn't have that kind of time.
About 3 minutes after the fax went through I called my leasing company and professed the importance that they send these documents overnight to the MVA.
"We DHL everything, ma'am"
"Well, can you just overnight it?"
We DHL EVERYTHING," she replied rather curtly.
I called the MVA and asked how long the process would take if they received the package by DHL in a day or so. I was informed that if they got the documents by then, I would get a call by Tuesday, October 14th. "UGH!" I thought, "A whole WEEK without being able to drive my car!?!" I knew I was going to be driving to the Eastern Shore to see Boh for his nephew's baptism over the weekend, and so I begrudgingly asked my parents to borrow a car for that. They were very nice about it. Thank goodness for cool parents.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Though my car is only 2 years old and it hasn't been driven crazily, people kept informing me that lots of the time MD state inspectors will find something wrong with cars on purpose in these situations. However, perhaps by the grace of GOD, it passed. If there is one good thing to come out of this situation, this would be it. $59 plus tax. I think that I was almost HAPPY to pay it.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I went to the MVA to get a Maryland license (shown above). I guess the Alabama beauty pageant contestant photo is better than the angry stripper photo that I had on my Georgia license. $46. Are you kidding me!?
On my way out I stopped by the titling and registration counter. I asked them if they'd received all of the documents from the leasing company. After all, today was supposed to be the day. They looked at me like I had 2 heads.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I called the MVA first thing in the morning.
A machine told me my wait time was "approximately 1 minute." 10 minutes later I was told that they had not received my documents. "It takes us a couple days to process everything," the woman told me. "Well it has been a couple days! You should have received it on Wednesday! That would mean you would have had all of my paperwork for 4 days!" "Well it takes us about 4 days, why don't you call the leasing company and get the DHL tracking number so we can find it."
A novel idea.
The wait time isn't long at all whenever I call this company. That is perhaps the only positive thing I can say about Mazda Credit at this time. I was connected to the customer service department. At first the person I talked to informed me that the documents had not been sent yet, but upon hearing the beginning of my wrath, he intelligently double checked.
"Oh! Good news! Actually, it was sent out on Wednesday ma'am."
"Well good! Give me the tracking number so I can help the MVA do their friggin' job!"
"Um, I don't think there is a tracking number," he said quietly.
"What do you mean no tracking number, I'm sure DHL tracks their packages." My heart was beginning to sink...again.
"Well, it looks like we sent it out in regular mail."
I was ABSOLUTELY DUMBFOUNDED.
"I was told that EVERYTHING was sent DHL." I gasped.
"Well...apparently this was not."
Upon further investigation, I discovered that the leasing office was located in Tennessee. This means that if they sent out the documents on Wednesday, at best the MVA will have received it yesterday or today. Who knows how many days it will sit on someone's desk before it begins the "4 day process" of being put in the system. Which brings us to, at BEST, Tuesday, October 21st before I will POSSIBLY get my registration. Nearly a full 3 weeks later...and this is if I am lucky...which I have not been thus far.
TO BE CONTINUED-
