Where the hell was John Fowles when I was writing my thesis paper?!

"20 Death is in us and outside us; beside us in every room, in every street, in every field, in every car, in ever plane. Death is what we are not every moment that we are, and every moment that we are is the moment when the dice comes to rest. We are always playing Russian roulette.

21 Being dead is nothingness, not-being. When we die we constitute 'God.' Our relics, our monuments, the memories retained by those who survive us, these still exist; do not constitute 'God,' still constitute the process. But these relics are the fossilized traces of our having been, not our being. All the great religions try to make out that death is nothing. There is another life to come. But why only for humans? Or why only for humans and animals? Why not for inanimate things? When did it begin for humans? Before Peking man, or after?

22 As one social current has tried to hide death, to euphemize it out of existence, so another has thrust death forward as a chief element in entertainment: in the murder story, the war story, the spy story, the western. But increasingly, as our century grows old, these fictive deaths become more fictitious, and fulfill the function of concealed euphemism. The real death of a pet kitten affects a child far more deeply than the 'deaths' of all the television gangsters, cowboys and Red Indians.

23 By death we think characteristically of the disappearance of individuals; it does not console us to know that matter is not disappearing, but is simply being metamorphosed. We morn the individualizing form, not the generalized content. But everything we see is a metaphor of death. Every limit, every dimension, every end of every road, is a death. Even seeing is a death, for there is a point beyond which we cannot see, and our seeing dies; wherever our capacity ends, we die.

24 Time is the flesh and blood of death; death is not a skull, a skeleton, but a clock face, a sun hurtling through a sea of thin gas. A part of you has died since you began to read this sentence....The more absolute death seems, the more authentic life becomes.

-John Fowles, The Aristos

The arrival

"It takes a certain maturity of mind to accept that nature works as steadily in rust as in roses."

This was supposed to be a diptych.

...but I decided that I didn't love the other picture.

"Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat."

-Ben Hecht

Fail Better.

"3 Rules of work: 

a: out of clutter find simplicity

b: from discord find harmony

c: in the midst of difficulty lies opportunity"

-Einstein

My baby.

"Meow"

-Venus

This photo is a few years old, but I believe the book she is reading here is "100 Ways America is Screwing Up the World."  She's just like her mommy.

They say you are something in those formative years-

"The very nature of oppression has always been to force people to live within the confines of some idea about what a person is."

-Jaron Lanier

But we will

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship."

-Louisa May Alcott

Nothing to worry about

"Negative?  Why always so negative?  If you've got problems, why don't you go solve them?"

-Peter Bjorn and John

Venus

"I've won hundreds at the track but I'm not betting on the afterlife."

-Jenny Lewis

For Love

"I am not what I follow, because if I am what I follow I am not what I am."

-French Proverb

Happy Things Made Evil.  Take ONE.

Archives: Centralia, PA

"If you are not prepared to be wrong you will never come up with anything original."

-Sir Ken Robinson

"Katie even makes weddings look scary."

"Many times a day I realize how much my own life is built upon the labors of my fellowmen, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received."

-Einstein

 

Planning my escape

"We give you no fixed place to live, no form that is particular to you, nor any function that is yours alone.  According to your desires and judgment, you will have and possess whatever place to live, whatever form, and whatever functions you yourself choose."

-Pico della Mirandola's 1486 Oration on the Dignity of Man

Girl, I've been there.  I've been that needle in the haystack-treading water in that ocean for what seemed like an eternity.

Who recognizes this out-take?

"You always admire what you don't really understand."

-Pascal

I'll give you all a hint...

Brilliant. Says Sir Topas.

"Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better."

-Camus

All Right. Alright.

"There is in every village a torch-the teacher: and an extinguisher-the clergyman."

-Victor Hugo

Here we are again.

"...il faut parler; cela n'est pas volontaire, vous êtes embarqué."

("You are already in the game. You must bet.")

-Pascal

Adventures in Dining

"An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise."

-Victor Hugo

Went to visit the boyfriend today.  We hung around the Quantico area and did some outdoorsy stuff.  We found an awesome little national park and spent some time on a rock in the middle of a rushing stream.  It was VERY relaxing and exactly what we both needed after our crazy weeks.  Around 5:15 we packed up our target beach blanket and decided to go find some Italian food.  

We looked in his GPS and found a place in Dumfries called "Brothers Encore."  Upon our arrival we discovered that this place was in a rather sleepy strip mall.  "Ugh, do you wanna look somewhere else?" asked Sweet T.  "Nah, I'm starving.  Lets just go.  I bet its good.  How can you really F-up Italian food anyway?"

And so it began.

We walked in to find a "not so bad" looking interior, complete with a pretty fountain in the center of the room.  "Oh this actually looks nice," commented Sweet T.  A very cute, very skinny and shy girl led us to our table.  We sat down and began to look at the pretty extensive menu.  We both sat there with our heads transfixed upon the menu's interior for a good five minutes.  Nonetheless, our waitress (whom I will simply call "Crystal" because I've never met a nice person by that name) came over about 3 times impatiently wanting to know if we were ready to order.  "We're clearly still looking at the menu," commented Sweet T after she'd walked away for the third time, "what is her deal?"

I decided upon the "Encore" dinner, which was pasta with a light lemony sauce and chicken.  It sounded more healthy than a lot of the options.  Sweet T picked the "Spaghetti Carbonara."  As we ordered a couple walked in the door.  Crystal's head followed the couple as they were seated.  She asked me twice what I wanted on my salad as she was obviously very absorbed in the activity behind me.  Then Sweet T began his order. 

"I'll have the spag-"

"CHELSEA!  (We learned the hostess' name)  What are you doing!?!  (Sweet T and I looked at each other hesitantly) IT ISN'T MY TURN TO GET SAT!  YOU JUUUUUST SAT ME!"

"Um...No I just sat (insert name here)," Chelsea replied timidly.  "It was your turn."

Crystal continues to ream out Chelsea for a few more seconds (WHILE STILL STANDING AT OUR TABLE) before she turned back around and asked Sweet T his entire order once more.  She left and he and I stared at each other shell shocked and feeling more awkward than I remember feeling in a long time.

"Poor Chelsea!"  I finally said.  

"I heard a story about this guy once,"  began Sweet T, "After he orders his food he puts 20% of whatever his bill is going to be on the table, and when the server does well he'll add another dollar.  But when the server does something bad, he'll take one away.  I think that action constitutes taking a few dollars away."

"Um, after THAT and her behavior up to this point she is getting 15% counted out to the penny and I DO have change in my purse," I replied.  This is significant, because (speaking as an authority on the subject-with [sadly] 12 years experience in the food service industry) in the past I have educated my boyfriend on the various up to date par levels for tipping.  20% is the old 15%.  I leave 20% unless someone has really screwed up.  At that point they might get around 17 or 18%.  I'm not sure I have EVER left someone 15%.

I got up to use the bathroom, and upon my return Sweet T filled me in on the activity that I missed.  Crystal had apparently gone back up to Chelsea, and in front of the entire restaurant continued to scream at her and asked if she "spoke English," reminding her that we were in America, etc. etc. etc.  And when Chelsea tried to defend herself she was interrupted.  

"Chelsea...go host," she said as she rolled her eyes and walked away.  

We received our salads a few minutes later.  My dressing was in a bag thrown on top of the lettuce.  I didn't say anything about that, figuring it was par for the course.  Sweet T was verbally annoyed by it.  The salads were pretty lack luster, but I didn't mind too much.  I was saving myself for that yummy lemon chicken dish I was about to enjoy.

Our entrees came around the same time as our sheer disappointment.  Crystal set down both dishes that looked more like soup than pasta.  I've never seen so much sauce in my life.  "Wow!  This is a lot of food" commented Sweet T.  "Yeah well, we have to go boxes," replied Crystal.

My dish may have possibly been appetizing if there was about 70% less sauce on top.  The "light lemon sauce," tasted more like that thick, artificial lemon filling from the inside of a dessert.  I tried to soak some of it up with parmesan cheese (that I had to ask for).  I scraped it off of the chicken and just ate that.  The noodles were a sauce drowned lost cause.

My boyfriend's dish was unfixable.  It looked more like an over-saturated cream chipped beef dish, as you LITERALLY had to search for pasta in the sauce.  I'm sure if anyone HAD been able to eat the spaghetti carbonara, they'd have suffered a massive heart attack before even exiting the premises.  "You should really send that back.  Lets get you something else," I pleaded.  "No its ok," he said...being too much of a gentleman to complain.  I wanted to leave RIGHT then.

About five minutes into our "dinner(?)," Crystal came over.  "Are you guys gonna want dessert?"  I couldn't get "No, I don't think so" out of my mouth fast enough.  "Oh" she said and made a face as she walked away.  Sweet T and I stared at each other in amazement.  "What is GOING ON!?!  Where is the hidden camera!?"

Crystal had walked by our empty coke glasses about 3 times when she brought the bill over (without us asking for it).  "Can I have another coke when you get a chance," asked Sweet T.  Crystal picked up his and left mine sitting as she walked away. "Can we actually BOTH have some more coke?" He called after her.  I could hear the sigh of annoyance come from behind me as she took her two steps back to pick up my glass.

The bill was $37.  For food that was absolutely inedible.  I'd had enough.  "I think I'm going to go find a manager"  I said.  "Do you want me to do it?" asked Sweet T.  "No, let me do it.  I work in a restaurant after all.  I'll be really nice about it.  I'm sure someone in this place has got to have some sense...other than Chelsea."  I got up and walked to the back of the restaurant where Chelsea and another waitress were sitting in a booth.  "Chelsea," I asked politely and quietly, "is there a manager on tonight that I could talk to?"  "Whats going on!?"  Crystal came up to ask/demand.  Chelsea and I walked right by her and waited for the manager in the bar area.

The manager came out wearing a grey t-shirt and was visibly annoyed.  I tried to lead her further into the bar in an effort to get away from people and not have this be a scene.  She was not going to go any further.  I walked back over and very quietly and calmly began telling her about our experience tonight.  I began with a disclaimer about how I worked in a restaurant and how the very act of seeking out a manager was hard for me based on my own experiences.  She seemed unmoved.  I told her about the very loud and public dispute our server had with the hostess.  She said nothing.  I told her about the rudeness of our waitress.  She still said nothing.  Then I began telling her about the food.  She interrupted me with 

"Well, are you talking about the Encore?  The encore DOES have a lot of sauce on it."

"Well, yes I suppose it does.  That was fine.  I was able to scrape it off.  But really, the big problem was my boyfriend's dish.  It was absolutely inedible.  There was too much sauce on-"

"The carbonara DOESN'T have any sauce on it!" She interrupted.

"Well, I believe there was something that resembled a sauce...?  You couldn't even see the noodles-"

"Its just made with heavy cream," she retorted  (is that NOT a sauce?!?!)

"Ok, I suppose there was just way too much of that then."

"Oooooookaaaaaay," she began sarcastically.  "What do you want me to do about it?"

I handed her the bill.  "I really don't think we should pay for his dish."  I said politely.  "He wasn't able to eat it."

"I can only take half of his dish off," she snorted.

"Well, ok, we would appreciate that."  I replied, genuinely.

I walked back over to the table trying to conceal my disbelief.  "Thank you Chelsea" I said to the hostess as I walked between her and the glaring Crystal on my way back.

Chelsea was the one who ultimately brought over the adjusted check.  I guess no one wanted to talk to us anymore.  "Lets get out of here," said Sweet T "I need to remember this place so I can tell people I hate to come eat here."

Back by popular(?) demand.

"Being lonely is a habit-like smoking or taking drugs.  And I've quit them both, but man was it rough."

-Jenny Lewis

Iron Lung

"People cannot endure their own littleness unless they can translate it into meaningfulness on the largest possible level."

-Ernest Becker

Sir Topas the Curate

"...Go into yourself and test the deeps in which your life takes rise; at its source you will find the answer to the question whether you must create.  Accept it, just as it sounds, without inquiring into it.  Perhaps it will turn out that you are called to be an artist.  Then take that destiny upon yourself and bear it, its burden and its greatness, without ever asking what recompense might come from outside.  For the creator must be a world for himself and find everything in himself and in Nature to whom he has attached himself."

-Rilke

"We'll always have Wytheville."

"Adversity introduces a man to himself"

-author unknown

"It was an interesting weekend in southwestern Va, to say the least...

Katie and I traveled to an annual event entitled "Trail Days" in Damascus, Va.  Her friend Sarah, also known as Harvest on the AT, was showcasing her latest exhibition entitled "Footpath."  What was to be a weekend of woodland exploration and camping turned into a test of patience and perspective.  For brevity's sake, suffice to say that after 2.5 hours of searching for a new car battery, which we found in Bristol, Tn, we experienced total failure the next day on I-81N.  3 car jumps, 1 new battery, and most likely a new alternator (tomorrow), Katie and I now find ourselves in the little town of Wytheville, Va.  For all of the setbacks and headaches we have had the past two days, in a weird way I think the two of us have turned what some might call "a nightmare situation" into a fun adventure.  No fights and instead a lot of laughs and smiles.  I love this girl.  :)    "

-Sweet T

Getting Better at Life

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."

-Einstein

Magic Green Elves.

"One of the truly bad effects of religion is that it teaches us that it is a virtue to be satisfied with not understanding."

-Richard Dawkins

This is for you.

"That corpse you planted last year in your garden,

Has it begun to sprout?  Will it bloom this year?

Or has the sudden frost disturbed its bed?"

-Eliot

Intercourse, PA

Sweet T on one of our Sunday adventures.

Love is a burning thing.

"You'll find yourself again in the simple and forgotten things."

-Jung

AAAAND I pretty much want to end my life right now.

Billy Corgan.  Tila Tequila.  A couple.  

Really?  I think I can quit life RIGHT now.  I've seen enough cruelty in the world having lain eyes on this.  You always seemed so smart Billy.

You're all the same!

The Un-Tourists

"And if you want me, I'm your country.  If you win me, I'm forever."

-The Cardigans

Sweet T and I went to see the cherry blossoms on Sunday.  I'm excited about our very similar senses of humor.  

BFF

A picture of Love and I from December 2006.

"Hello mystery lady."

"Having no choice is still a choice."

2009.03.28

We drove into Savannah sometime before 2 am.  Exhausted as I was I felt more alert than ever.  It was the sort of reflexive attentiveness you'd feel while awaiting the thing that would snatch you suddenly back out into the darkness.

It seemed so fitting that I'd make my return at night.  When I'd left Savannah the last time it was dawn.  I sped throughout West Savannah blasting Neil Young's Everyone Knows this is Nowhere through my open car windows.  Last night I crept back-in secret-as though to not wake that sleeping giant.

The storage facility wouldn't be open until 7 am.  We drove down Abercorn to the Waffle House.  Scores of young people, fresh from the Friday night bars, lined the booths and filled the place with their conversation and laughter.  My mom ordered an orange juice.  I went to the bathroom to wash my face in the sink.

We all tried to sleep till 6.  I was wide awake feeling the need to quench my morbid curiosity.  I wanted nothing more than to roam those dark streets all night long.  I wanted to see if that black wave, that bell jar (or whatever those writers call it) would still be looming above my head this time around.  15 months later.  I wanted to know if that old city was to blame for my misery, or if I had brought it all on myself those two years.  And if it was me, am I beyond it now?

I look back on that time now, so far removed, and wonder if it would have been better if I had done things differently.  Maybe if I hadn't insisted on living alone I could have lived in a better neighborhood.  With a roomate or two, I could have afforded to live in town.  I wouldn't have been so scared in that house all alone.  Or would I have?  Every behavior and thought I had in that town was so tainted with self destruction that either way I'm sure I would have been frightened of my own mind.

It is difficult to say what is different now.  I've weaned myself off of everything meant to aid in those feelings.  I'd be lying if I said I feel wonderful all of the time, but these days I can get out of bed without aid of those external things or much trouble.  There is a drastic difference now in my ability to operate.  I no longer feel that constant heaviness sitting atop my chest, no longer have the desire to hide alone in a dark room, and now there doesn't seem to be any shortage of air.

I imagined opening that storage container would be like unearthing a body that requires further forensic research post-burial.  The whole act seemed like it would be more disturbing than actually beneficial.  She is dead.  What else could you want?

My sensations were all familiar.  It was wet and almost hot at 7 in the morning.  There were the same sand gnats that would overwhelm you the instant you paused.  I had no idea of my building's number, and yet I found myself at the very door, entering my code, and getting it right on the first try-as though I had only been here last week.  I walked down that familiar climate controlled hallway and stopped at the door.  It was so much smaller than I remembered.  Everything was so much smaller.    

I opened the door.  I smelled my old apartment.  Memories flooded back.  I remember packing this container and thinking that I'd never be able to get all of this stuff out again.  Now it didn't look like such a difficult task.  Nothing seems so difficult anymore.  

I extracted a few boxes that were labeled clothes for Jan ('08).  I thought about how different my life would have ended up had I picked up those boxes on time and shiver.  

It amazes me how life seems to always work itself out in the end.

I can do anything.

This is me then

"2009.03.10

...I've noticed that I only write with inky black pens.  I've been doing it now for years.  Never pencil.  Pencil would be against nature.  Flowing black ink mimics life and reality in a beautiful way.  Once it is there, there is no way of getting rid of it.  You can make a mistake and cross it out, but the hiccup will still exist.  Depending on the style and magnitude of the crossing out, you will more or less still be able to see your mistake.  An event that occurred will always have occurred no matter if there is an attempt to camouflage.  Black ink tells the truth."

No more lost years

"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia."

-E.L. Doctorow

Due partly to the recent discovery of my grad school journals, and partially on account of encouragement by Love and Lee, I've decided to write again.  It has been over two years that I've written anything personal at length.  I can't help but feel like those have been lost years.  I'll look back and remember what happened during that time, but I won't remember how it felt (which is often wholly more important).  So stay tuned.  I'm definitely not going to repeat much of it on here, but I'll throw a few gems at you all every now and then.

Pretty sure this wall still looks like this...a year later.

"I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart.  I am. I am. I am."

-Sylvia Plath

Remember that 4X5 car accident shoot Lilith?  This would have been perfect.

"I Got Friends in Low Places."

"Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose."

-Tennessee Williams

Becuase when you're a server, you can by all means drink at 2 pm on a Wednesday and spend an hour in Barnes and Noble.

Snow Day

"I'm always chasing some far off dream, my lady I know its not easy for you to see, but I've lied to myself, and your loveliness-no it doesn't help, no your beautiful smile don't help."

-Avett Brothers, Pretty Girl from Annapolis

From a past life.

I just found my journal from SCAD.  Yikes.  If I knew then what I know now...

I'm sure I'll be saying that for the rest of my life.

This entry would eventually become my Decay Constant artist statement (a much more edited version).  But here it is in its entirety.  Heres hoping I do not regret this.  

June, 11, 2006

Sometimes I can't help but realize how not normal it is for me to come home at 3 am, be alone, and cry myself to sleep.  And here I am, doing it again.  Thats really not supposed to happen, is it?  Do people really do that?

I took an adderall before work tonight, and I really noticed how happy it made me.  It is pretty disturbing how I was probably the happiest I've ever been at work.  But it wasn't real.  It was all from that pill.  Fake happiness; And yet its the best I've felt in a long time.

One of my customers told me something yesterday that really made me think: "This isn't a dress rehearsal," he said.

Life.  This is it.  Right here.  And we don't get any second chances.

I went to the beach today.  I saw this fat, old grandmother laughing and playing with this young toddler.  A strange thought came over me.  It was weird to think that this old lady once looked so different, so small.  She was once just like this baby.  Its odd to stand back and witness the world's people as an endless cycle of regenerating material.  We have children so we can have a family.  Yes.  But also to replace ourselves.  Or maybe to act as that warm body when we are gone...maybe only a stand in.  Do we really matter?  I hardly think so.  There are so many of us that I can't see how we could matter...in a larger sense.

On a more local level, I think we make small world's for ourselves.  That in that world, exist a share of people who make that small world turn.  Its hard to be so far away from all the turners of my world.

I've really taken so much for granted.  Maybe its normal, but when I've been home in the past I've been so ho-hum about it.  My head hurts from all of these tears.

WTF?!?!? It is MARCH!

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect.  It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

-?

Just when I thought the cold weather was behind us, we're supposed to get 6-11 inches of snow here tonight.  GRR!  Oh well, I guess we haven't had a serious storm in a while.  It is high time for the weather to show us who is boss around here.

And a NEW (only because I just developed this film...this picture was actually shot after x-mas 2007, womp womp) MANSCAPE (?) image, in honor the final winter hurrah! 

"We're going to free the shit out of you."

"Poetry is an orphan of silence.  The words never quite equal the experience behind them."

-Charles Simic

When you remodel a house, it means you get to do all the things you've never been allowed to do...like tag the wall in your kitchen.

Oh and yes.  Take notes.

I'm giving up negativity for lent

"There is one thing one has to have: either a soul that is cheerful by nature, or a soul made cheerful by work, love, art, and knowledge."

-Nietzsche

YHPRUM's Law and our greatest achievements

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of.  You will never live if you are looking for the meaning in life."

-Albert Camus

I told my friend 7 that I was going to write a blog about this and it has taken me a few weeks to begin.  Heres hoping I do the topic justice.

YHPRUM's Law: The opposite of Murphy's law; Everything that can work, will work.

7 and I are friends that share a common bond.  We're both driven individuals who are less than enthralled in our current situations.  He was recently let go from a management position in a coffee house (thankfully he simultaneously worked at Fado), and has had lots of trouble finding something equally as challenging/rewarding that will grant him the same sort of quality of living he had enjoyed before...and me...I'm pretty much a grossly overeducated waitress.  Probably more than anything I'm searching for a job that will allow for much more intellectual stimulation than my current situation...and simultaneously give me a salary large enough to pay off my student loans and live more comfortably.  

We spent a few hours talking in a bar a couple weeks ago.  Over beer and mashed potatoes we had a long discussion about existence.  Though neither of us have degrees in physics or philosophy, we both come pretty well read.  We compared notes on things like existentialism and the expansion of the universe and came to a conclusion; Maybe the meaning of life is simply to live.

"What is the difference between an MFA and a large pizza?," Harvest joked on my voicemail last night, "A large pizza can feed a family of 3, and well...mama can't even feed herself these days."  She is currently working on commission in Utah taking pictures of tourists going down the Park City ski slopes.  She called me after her first day of "training" for the job. "Katie, they went over "aperture" for 6 hours.  I wanted to eat glass.  What the fuck am I doing with my life?"

I sent her and Lilith a text the other day threatening that if anyone else asked me why I am simultaneously waitressing and holding a master's degree, I was going to "go postal."  Both ladies were in agreement.

I tend to get down on myself a lot.  A lot of my friends do the same thing to themselves.  But maybe we shouldn't.  I think we all spend far too much time worrying about the meaning of life.  We all are too consumed with money and professional aspirations and we forget that the things that really matter are those we don't have to work for: parents, children, brothers, sisters, friends.  Relationships with those people matter.  Relationships with YOURSELF matter.  I don't mean to sound as though I am giving up.  I'm certainly not able to spend as much as I did on a MFA and not use it, but I keep hearing that good things come to those who wait.

I waited on an old couple a few days ago.  The man was the one who especially struck me.  As his wife ordered liquor for herself, he simply drank tonic water and explained that he was unable to drink due to his medication.  He shook in a manner so pronounced that it almost looked fake.  He reminded me of my grandfather and I loved him for that.  He ordered the lamb french dip and was quite concerned about the amount of fat in the meat.  I told him there wasn't much, and came back later to see how he liked it.  He said it reminded him of his "greatest achievement:"

"When my great aunt was dying in a nursing home I rushed home from grad school one day and made a huge rack of lamb.  When I was finished I brought it to her and she told me she couldn't eat it.  'Just let me smell it,' she had said.  I remember how big her smile was that day."

Hey, hey, little fighter girl, its you and me up against this whole wide world...

I believe I should have made this my "fare forward" photo.  It would have matched "seamen" better.  Oh well.

In any event- This is for you Sweet T (note the name change).  Feel free to steal this one as well.  :)

Fare Forward

"Fare forward, you who think that you are voyaging;

You are not those who saw the harbour

Receding, or those who will disembark.

Here between the hither and the farther shore

While time is withdrawn, consider the future

And the past with an equal mind.

At the moment which is not of action or inaction

You can receive this: "on whatever sphere of being

The mind of a man may be intent

At the time of death"--that is the one action

(And the time of death is every moment)

Which shall fructify in the lives of others:

And do not think of the fruit of action.

Fare Forward.

O voyagers, O seamen,

You who come to port, and you whose bodies

will suffer the trial and judgement of the sea,

Or whatever event, this is your real destination.

So Krishna, as when he admonished Arjuna

On the field of battle.

Not fare well,

But fare forward, voyagers."

-T.S. Eliot